This is very hard for me to do. I am not one who normally asks for help. I have had to do it quite a bit more than I would like to admit because of health issues, whether mine or my kids. I can't do it all. I have struggled the last 6 months in Alaska to find a balance in my life. It's not happening. I hate to admit it, but I am not superwoman! {you heard it here first}
So, I am asking for your help. Do you have any ideas on how to balance school, laundry, dinner, dishes, order, bathrooms, paying bills, showering, exercising, sleeping, grocery shopping and bathing the kids? That doesn't include reading lessons for church, fhe, family scripture time, personal scripture time, scrapbooking, Biggest Loser {my one guilty pleasure - I fold laundry the whole time.}, reading and homework with the kids and some good old fashion me time. Where did the days of Bon-bons and soap operas go? Seriously. I need to add somewhere in there potty training Nate, cleaning the car, cleaning the garage, putting away the 13 bags food storage I bought last week, getting everything ready for the next Activity Day's and getting everything ready for Aaron to start nights. Yep, no Valentine's Day for me yet again. This will make 6 years of Aaron working the night shift on that beloved holiday.
Back to the issue- I don't see much I can cut. However, I can't manage it all. I spend my days putting out fires because everything is in disarray. My bedroom is trashed, I haven't packed my kids lunch at all this week and I don't even want to think about allergy shots on Thursday. So, can you please help me? I am as close to insane as I have ever been. I struggle falling asleep at night trying to figure out which fire I forgot to put out and my order of fires for the next day. So, I am officially saying, "my name is Sassy and I need help. Can you help me?"
10 comments:
Put it in the Lord's hands. You've made your list right here, decide which are most important for the time being and forget the rest or save them for later. It looks like some things on this list are things that can be put on the back burner, not to be stressed about. When you start to look at it all, it becomes overwhelming. I was overwhelmed just reading it all. You are superwoman. You just can't do all of that in one day. You can spread it out a little bit. I know some of it is just everyday, neverending stuff. Remember the Lord loves you and does not expect you to run faster than you are able.
I agree with the above comment. That is something that I'm learning to do & it's hard! I don't have 4 children or all the tough stuff that goes with it, but all I can say is make sure you're doing the things that absolutely have to be done everyday & make sure you're spending time with your kids everyday. Cleaning the bathrooms & doing dishes can wait for a bit if needed. I usually clean the bathrooms & such every other week & just make sure everything is picked up after breakfast & after dinner. Nobody's perfect, especially at being a mom!
I agree, put it in the Lord's hands. He will help you get the most important stuff done, and everything else can wait a bit. I had a friend (single mom) who used to say something like, "forget finding a man, I need a wife so that I have someone to help me get everything done." It will get better, though I can't talk, I am accomplishing nothing other than feeding and changing diapers right now.
You can't control everything/anything. Our kids go through ups and downs as do we.
Let some of it go for a while, and just enjoy your kids. Play with them. Be lazy here and there.
You've burnt yourself out. I do that too. I've clicked off for a while. I know I'll come around again eventually. But for now, I'm being lazy and playing. The world will not fall apart if Sassy takes a day or two off. You'll find strength and desire again to work hard. Do a lousy job, do something, and soon enough, you'll be able to do more. I've been through times of depression where I try my best, but it's not half as good as I'd normally be able to do. But that's okay. The Lord knows how tired you are of life, and He is behind you one-hundred percent.
You are superwoman. You need a break. Most women would have reached a breaking point a long time ago in your shoes.
Pray for help and strength to see what's most important each day, and let the rest go. It's not worth it. Some things truly matter, some things really don't for your own health and well-being.
Good luck in weeding out the unnecessaries of life.
Hey there..first time commenter. It is so challenging to balance it all and feel like you are doing a job that you are happy with. It feels like something always has to give. Quality time with kids, energy left over for your husband, then the ever so elusive time for yourself. What helps me, is write a basic(and I mean 3-5 things, chores wise) that you want to get done in a day or two and then prioritize them with A, B, and C. A's get done first and so on. It helps me feel accomplished and that feeling of following through helps keep you motivated. I know I have had to give into the fact that there is always something else to be done and more to do, but when you have a small list, the list gets done and you can decide when to start a new list.
i like petersen family's comment. i kinda do the same thing when i'm feeling ridiculously overwhelmed. i make myself a list of absolutely everything i can think of that i need to do. then i put numbers (like PF's letters) next to each thing for the priority that it is. then (i haven't done this) you can put a LT and ST for long term and short term things that need to happen. (like LT for the activity day girls since it's not tomorrow and ST for dishes since they need to get done more frequently.) i know to me it sometimes feels like it takes longer to write things out, but in the end i find it saves me time because i don't have to always rack my brains for that one thing i'm supposed to be doing that i can't remember what it was. really, this is one of the only things i've found that helps me get absolutely everything that needs to be done finished. (you should have seen my before dc vacation and christmas list. it was CRAZY! johnny thought i'd gone insane.) good luck! i hope this helps a little...
Well, I will give you my two cents... The only thing that works at our house is to STAY ON A SCHEDULE - A GOOD ONE. I put in a load of laundry every day (not this week) and then a few on saturday. Dishes I decided get done better right after dinner (while kids are playing) As for everything else, I literally assigned a day for everything and when the day is full, I stop. It will all get done some day...
Ahh, Sassy! Are you sure you weren't reading MY mind? I've been feeling the same way lately. You did this post just for me, huh? Amen to what everyone has already said. I'm also going to take their advice. Love and hugs to you!
I have wondered the same thing many times I only have three kids but I have a terminally ill husband and the disease has taught me that everything else is not as important as family, family will always come first, family will always be there when you need them. I have also learned that moms can not do everything on their own have the kids pitch in I have learned to choose your battles if they fold laundry and it isn't the way you wanted it folded oh well at least they helped. I have learned a ton of things from this horrible disease we are fighting together as a family dishes, cleaning, school, will always be there tomorrow you never know when heavenly father will call a member of your family home, enjoy it everyday.
I don't think everyone would agree with some of the ways I keep afloat during these preschool years, and I'm just trying to accept that. One example? I'm not currently a visiting teacher. With selling the house and two small kids, there's no way I could do it. For some women, visiting teaching is a fun thing that helps them connect. For me, it feels like a burden with all that's on my plate. And when I wouldn't make it each month, I'd feel terribly guilty. Within a few months, I will hopefully be in a place that I feel comfortable taking on that calling -- but for now, I just can't do it. My family has to come first.
I think about self-reliance as being a spectrum. On one end, you are completely dependent on others (like an infant), and on the other you are not only caring for yourself and your family but others as well. Right in the middle is self-reliant.
We often hear things like: "If you feel down, the best thing to do is go serve somebody else." I completely disagree with this philosophy. Sure, if you're a self-centered, spoiled slacker, that might help. But if you are an exhausted mother who is serving her family 24 hours a day, your stress won't suddenly go away because you go serve someone else. There's a good chance that taking time away from you and/or your family could make things worse. Am I saying never serve? Of course not! But before serving, take stock of all the service you are already doing. Are you and your family self-reliant? If so, that's a huge accomplishment each day. Just keeping a family in the middle of the self-reliance spectrum is exhausting. And it's much, much better to focus on staying in the middle than to push too hard toward the "service" end only to burn yourself out and end up on the "dependent" end.
I don't do half of the things that I "should." To some, it may appear that I avoid responsibility, or lack empathy. Quite the opposite is true, though. I take my responsibility for caring for me and my family so seriously that I focus on that above all else, thus keeping us in the middle of the self-reliance spectrum. If I spend my energy empathizing with everyone else in the world, I will have no energy for my family. And if I don't have energy, we would actually end up on the "dependent" end of the spectrum, and require resources from others.
Sassy, I honestly don't know how you manage all you do. You've always amazed me. I just hope you can find a way to take a break!
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