Strength in Numbers

One of my friends posted this blog on her blog. You may have read this, and if you did, I am sure you were moved. If you have not, word of warning, grab a box of tissues and make sure you have an hour. I did it during nap time. Start at the beginning. When you make it to the end, go hug your children and tell them how much you love them.

A thought after reading - if you look at the heaven bound post, there is more than 600 comments. As I was reading through a few of them, I was so proud. There were no harsh words, there were no accusations. There was only love and concern for a man and his young daughter. More than 600 people (most of them don't know this family) bound together to strengthen and lift a man with a broken heart. His story touched all of them and probably changed most of their lives, to a small extent, but here they are, trying to lift him. Help him in his hour of need.

These are the kind of people I want to be surrounded by. I don't care your religion, I don't care your race or background. Supporting one another and lifting each other is what the Lord had in mind for us. It is so nice to see this still exists. In a world so full of anger, hate, destruction, greed, desire and malice, there are still people who love and care. I will bet you that those people leaving comments were not all Baptist or Lutheran. But, in the midst of the comments, there is not one mention of "which religion" we are. It is just people, having faith in Jesus Christ see another one of his sheep hurting. Not lost, just hurt and trying with everything they know to help him. Amazing. What a great lesson this is. There is strength in numbers, and if we combine forces, we can make a positive influence in this world.

I am off to hug my kids a little tighter. My prayers are with this family and any of my friends and family who may be struggling!!

The Angels heard

So, at this point, I am at my computer in tears!! If you haven't already, scroll down to see the cute picture of Maggie and her daddy! I just couldn't not post. I have been praying for friends in Alaska. I am an outgoing person by nature and have not changed during our 2 months here in Alaska. However, I am finding it more difficult to make friends here. Within hours of us arriving here, we met the Holmes. They were our neighbors. Then our housing situation fell apart and we found ourselves miles (7.3 to be exact) away from them. That is a long cry compared to across the street. You know how sometimes you just click with people. Like you've known them forever. That is how I felt around the Holmes family. Their 4 kids are awesome and 2 of them are pretty close in age to 2 of mine. Anyway, I have really struggled here on base with friends and depression. But, I got the most unexpected and exciting phone call from Stacie today. They offered them a house on base 2 HOUSES AWAY from mine. Seriously? I tried so hard to not get my hopes up but this was almost impossible! I just got an e-mail from her saying they accepted the house. They should be moved in by November 1^st.

The prayer was said, the angels heard and at this moment I feel an incredible amount of love from my Heavenly Father. He knows us individually and knows our needs. He provided what I needed. Thank you seems so silly, but there isn't much more I can say. Thank you!!

Stacie – I am at your beck and call. You tell me what you need and it is done!!

A girl and her daddy….

I am not sure weather I had this growing up or not, because all I can remember of my dad when I was younger was he was at work. (Sorry Dad, I know you had to do and I love you for it!!) But it has been really fun watching the relationship between Aaron and Maggie grow. She his her daddy wrapped around her tiny little finger. For example, a few nights ago, Maggie had a really bad diaper rash. (She get's these all the time….) Aaron couldn't stand to hear her cry, so he took her upstairs and gave her a "luke warm" bath to wash away the stuff on her bum. When she cries (even a whimper) he jumps up. He has never heard our kids during the night, but he sure hears her. So funny. She knows it too. All she has to say is Daey….and he responds. He doesn't do that for the rest of us. I guess we are just sloppy seconds.

Aaron and Maggie – September 24^th

To my dad:

I am very grateful for my you. When I was ready to walk away from the church for a boy, I respected you enough to really get my answer that the church wasn't true so I could walk away. Let's just say that 7 days later I was broken up with that boy and moved out of state. I fully expected my answer to be the church wasn't true and him and I could ride off into the sunset (on the bus because he didn't have a car….what was I thinking?) I hope you know dad how much I love you. 12 years later, I am married to a wonderful man, have 4 wonderful (most of the time) children, have lived in 3 states and have made more friends than I could have ever imagined. Your powerful example and testimony based on action is what made me realize all that I could have. As much as you missed, I wouldn't trade a minute of it. The example you set is the one that I needed. All that I have is because of you!

XXOXO,

Your Daughter aka "Sassy Pants"

Serious Help Please...

I am begging you, please help me! Nate is about at the end of his rope with Aaron and I. Look at this:

• He broke the Wii. We are hoping Aaron can fix this with minimal cost. We will see. (In all of his spare time!)
• He pulled the DVD player, cable box and all cables out of the Entertainment cabinet. (Did I mention that he had to undo a child lock on the Entertainment cabinet to get to these and the Wii?)
• He spread Balmex ALL over my new couches, in his hair and in Maggie's hair 2 minutes before we needed to leave. (I was upstairs for 2 minutes to change my clothes!)
• He was put in time out 2 times at "school" today for yelling at the teacher. (He has been going for a few hours a day for PCS care. It's free until your 20 hours runs out.)
• He got in my scrapbook room yesterday and colored ALL over my current layout.
  
• He got in my scrapbook room today and dumped all (I'm talking more than 1000) buttons on the floor. Guess what I'll be doing tonight?
• He broke the fridge child lock so he could get in the fridge and get a crush cup.
• Add this to crashing our hard drive (in Ohio) breaking 2 digital cameras and breaking our DVD/VCR combo. Just to name a few.

We really don't know what else to do with him. We have tried time out, we have tried sitting on his bed, we have tried everything we can think of. I was sure that he just wasn't getting enough one on one attention, but I know that's not the problem now. I have been giving him quite a bit undivided attention lately. He is just getting worse. Please, if you have ANY ideas, let us know. We would forever be in your debt!

Poor Justin

We had yet another doctors appointment for Justin today. It seems like that's all we do lately is doctors. Anyway, this one was with the allergist. We did a focused allergy panel to find out specifics on what he is allergic to. We knew grass, weeds, trees, cats, dogs, dust mites and peanuts, but we wanted specifics in each area. We are going to be starting him on allergy shots soon to see if we can improve his quality of life. Here are the pictures of my little mans back!!


Then, after all of this, I made him get the flu shot. What a mean mom I am! Hey, they just got them in this morning and there was no line...yet. When we left, the waiting line for the flu shot was at least 45 minutes!!! Now, I just have to get Kennie back for his and we are all taken care of. That is until they get the Swine Flu shot!

Flatline...

I have been wondering why life has so many ups and downs. I am sick and tired of the highs and lows. It feels like my highs and lows have been extreme lately. 2 posts ago, I was pretty high. Feeling pretty good about life. Then, all of a sudden, the carpet got pulled out from under me and I hit face first on the floor.

I recently read a statement (in the book The Continuous Atonement) that I try to keep in mind during these difficult times. During one of his venting moments, he also mentioned he doesn't like the ups and downs. His wife works as a nurse and reminded him that the ups and downs remind us that we are alive. A straight line means your heart isn't beating any more. You don't want a straight line.

Does that make me feel better? Sometimes. It still doesn't help out during the lows. I am not sure how to change my life here. In Ohio, I was surrounded by people that I loved and was constantly going. Here, people are more reserved and keep to themselves. I have made 2 really good friends (one friendship traveled clear from medical school and Virginia!) but neither friend lives very close. Aaron has been working 13-15 hour days which makes the lows even worse.

So, hopefully done venting now. Just waiting for my next high. In some ways, I feel like a drug addict. Just waiting for my next high. That sounds awful, doesn't it? I am hoping that a good dose of football will help out. Only, because we are so far behind everyone, all the football starts and happens while we are in church! Stupid time difference!!!

Assignment Catch Up

It's been a rough week, so I am doing all 5 assignments in 1 post. Sorry!

Week 2 - Assignment #1 - Discuss a job you would do for free.

Ever since I can remember, I have had a love of math! Numbers facinate me. In high school, my math level was so high that my only option for science was the honors. Let's just say that I am the ONLY person on the planet that does well at math and not at science. I didn't get it. Anyway, I loved my math classes. 2 of the 3 years of high school, I took 2 math classes. 1 required and 1 as an optional class. I have always wanted to be a high school math teacher. If Aaron made enough money, I would do it for free (after all 4 kids were in school of course!!) I have tutored a few people in my short time away from Utah and have loved every minute of it. I have a way of changing the words so those who don't understand the way it's written, somehow understand when I teach them.

Week 2 - Assignment #2 - Write a postcard to your Grandma from someplace in Europe that you want to visit someday.

Grandma-

Sure do miss you. I wish you could have come with me to Scotland. I am in heaven here! One of my favorite places was Glasgow. I loved all the castles. I am sure glad I didn't have to clean any though!! Papa would love all the Salmon filled streams, dad would love the golf courses and my mom would be in heaven with the bagpipes! Josh would probably make fun of the men in kilts, but I think it's awesome. The kids favorite part was riding the double-decker tour bus. The best moment is when we were sitting in the 13th Century cathedral. It was amazingly calm in there. It was nice to be able to feel of the spirit there. We miss you terribly!! Next time, you are coming! Got it??

Love,
Sis

(P.S. I really do want to go to Scotland. One day. I promise!!)

Week 2 - Assignment #3 - Make a list of Books Read Long Ago Which It's Now Time To Reread

1. When Your Prayers Seem Unanswered (Michael Wilcox)
2. 5 Scriptures that will get you through almost anything (John Bytheway)
3. Charlie (Jack Weyland - a classic!)
4. Book of Mormon
5. The Continuous Atonement (Brad Wilcox) I just finished this, but want to read it again! You always miss good parts!!

Week 2 - Assignment #4 - comments on discipline on the post of the instructor.

Week 2 - Assignment #5 - list my 5 biggest worries

1. I won't be alive long enough to see all my children succeed in this life!
2. The Lord will decide we need to have another baby. (I don't think I could handle this!!)
3. Losing one of my children! (I want to die before all of them!)
4. Not being good enough to spend eternity with my husband, kids and brother!
5. Losing my husband to a war! Stupid terrorists!!

*Note - Obama's health care plan ranks high on this list too. My husbands schooling and job will be questionable if it passes. We have worked so hard to get to where we are. I just hope they figure out something else first!!

Be afraid, be very afraid!

So, I had a moment in church today that I would like to share. These last 48 days that we have been in Alaska have been very difficult for me! Here is a story for you:

There we were, sitting in church. Maggie is at the worst stage (in my mind) where she won't sit still, she won't be quite and she doesn't want to stay with us. So, during the sacrament, she started one of her screaming fits. Aaron pulled her up on her lap and whipped out his phone and turned it on one of his games. Probably the one with the bee that bounces up and down – the kids usually like that one! My moment happened when she instantly stopped crying and watched his phone. It was then I realized how quickly she was distracted. While I was watching her, I realized that the same thing has happened to me in the last 48 days. The adversary was able to distract me from my purpose and from being happy. He threw enough in front of me that I stopped thinking about what really mattered and focused on so many things that I couldn't change. I was over run with doubt, fear, helplessness, instability, loneliness and pity. I quit reading my scriptures. We still said family prayer, but I stopped saying my personal prayers.

I felt the absence of the spirit, so I went to the LDS bookstore here and spent quite a bit of money on some great books. I have read 3 of the books and they were great and I learned a TON, however, I still didn't feel very close to the spirit. I couldn't figure out why. People, I have figured it out! My heart was so full of bitterness and sorry and self pity, that there was no room for the spirit to dwell. In the moment that I realized this, I felt the spirit flood through my body. I felt the great love that Heavenly Father has for me. I felt closer to him than I think I ever have. I have so many blessings that I have not paid attention too. I have amazing family and friends all over the world. I have a family here that I love and they depend on me. I feel like one of the sheep that have wondered off from the heard. I have finally found my way back to the Shepherd and feel of the love and concern from him. I never got so far away that I couldn't hear the Shepherds voice, but I was far enough away to be protected by his great care.

Why does this happen? Satan picks the times when we are the weakest to pile on the hardest trials. I have great work here to do in Alaska. Satan wanted me to forget my purpose. Forget my mission. Forget that I was a daughter of God. He loves me and I love him! I remember! I remember who I am and what I need to stand for! I remember my great worth. Satan should be afraid!

Obama’s Health Care Bill – Funny!

Aaron got this from one of his friends at work. I thought it was pretty funny! Enjoy!

The AMA responds to the Health Care Bill ----

The American Medical Association has weighed in on the new Obama health care proposals.

The Allergists voted to scratch it, but the Dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves. The Gastroenterologists had sort of a gut feeling about it, but the Neurologists thought the Administration had a lot of nerve.

The Obstetricians felt they were all laboring under a misconception. Ophthalmologists considered the idea shortsighted. Pathologists yelled, "Over my dead body!" while the Pediatricians said, "Oh, Grow up!"

The Psychiatrists thought the whole idea was madness, while the Radiologists could see right through it. Surgeons decided to wash their hands of the whole thing. The Internists thought it was a bitter pill to swallow, and the Plastic Surgeons said, "This puts a whole new face on the matter...."

The Podiatrists thought it was a step forward, but the Urologists were pissed off at the whole idea. The Anesthesiologists thought it was a gas, and the Cardiologists didn't have the heart to say no.

In the end, the Proctologists won out, leaving the entire decision up to the rectums in Washington.

Week 1 assignment #5

-Search through a drawer in your heart. Are there memories that shaped your self image? Write about a time your feelings were hurt. Why do you think you still remember? How does that help you understand yourself better?

I immediately thought of a difficult time in most girls' lives. 7^th grade. It was during this time that I had a VERY bad hair cut. It was very short. Add to this equation a new pair of glasses. What does that equal? Being totally different. I was never part of the "In" crowd anyway, but this made me a walking target. I remember being made fun of on picture day. A bad hair day (come on, every day was a bad hair day that year) and glasses. Wow. I don't remember specific people teasing me, but I remember being so self conscious that I didn't want to go to school. I didn't want to put myself out there at all. I had a huge crush on Todd Coates, but I knew he would look twice at me.

So, what did I do? What any sensible 7^th grader would do. I started putting my glasses case in my backpack and as soon as my mom or dad dropped me off at school, I would put them in their case and tuck them safely in my backpack. I grew my hair to a short bob and by Christmas time, life wasn't as bad. Except I couldn't see for most of the day, but a small sacrifice for friends, right? Wrong! I got in with the "wrong crowd." Back during the days of gangs and big bangs, I was one of those. It was because of these "friends" that I ended up switching schools and changing the course of my life. I will never be more grateful for those rotten girls who made fun of me due to my glasses or hair or whatever. Looking back now, I realize it was their own insecurities that motivated them to tear others down. 2 of those girls have committed suicide and 1 is in a psych treatment program and not going to get out until 2023 due to some crimes she committed.

What did this teach me? It doesn't matter what someone looks like. How their hair is cut or their size that matters. It is who they are as a person and how they treat others. Some of the best people don't fall into society's standards of "skinny" or "smart" or "successful." I ask you this question, who is Society? I reached a place in my life right around age 20 where I no longer cared what others thought of me. How they reacted to me was not my problem. I was (and am) totally comfortable with who I am as a women, wife, mother and friend, (Except, I want to lose 25 more pounds.) I live and I love and if someone doesn't like that, then I don't have the time to spend to make my life okay with them. Life is too short anyway! Who are they anyway? Life is to short to spend it making sure other people like who you are. I wish people would learn to live their lives for them and do what makes them happy. When we die and are evaluating our life on the other side, I don't want to have regrets for not doing the things that I wanted to do or that were important to me or my family.

There are a few folks whom I will never be good enough for. For those people, I feel a sense of sorrow. I am satisfied with my life and the choices that I have made that got me here. If I could go back, I wouldn't change much. I love my husband and my children more than I ever thought possible. I am spiritually stronger than I ever could have imagined, and still growing. I am so blessed! The Lord loves me, my husband loves me and my children love me. How can I go wrong? I will be with them for eternity! What a place to be? Kind-of makes that 7th grade experience "worth it." The reward is always greater than the trial! It is sometimes hard to remember that, but when you look back, you know it is true!

Assignment #4

Assignment #4 – List 25 unique abilities for you.

This is always a hard thing. You don't want others to think you are bragging or putting yourself on a pedestal, so just bare with me!

Compassionate Caring Generous

Creative Kind Understanding

Good listener Supportive Non judgmental

Open Receptive Willing to teach

Eager to learn Dedicated Loyal

Determined Enthusiastic Strong Willed

Loud Respectful Encouraging

Supporting Personable Comfortable in my own skin

My ability to make others feel important and able to talk to me (sometimes this is a Curse!!)

Assignment #3

Assignment #3 – Blog about a book you have read over and over.

The first book that came to my mind is When Your Prayers Seem Unanswered by Michael Wilcox. I have read this book so many times and even given it as presents to friends who seem to be struggling and need a small pick me up. It is an easy and fun read, yet so insightful at the same time. When reading this book, you begin to notice all the things in your life that are a direct answer to your prayers that you would have probably overlooked.

While reading this book, I grew more spiritually than I could have ever expected. I read it simply to take my mind off the fact that Nate wasn't sleeping. (During his newborn screaming stage.) After my reading sessions each night, I would fall to my knees and pour my heart out to my Heavenly Father. Mostly in thanks but also with the ability to understand why I was being tried and to always help me to see those small answers. Sometimes, if you can see those, you don't feel as alone or picked on. (While typing this, it occurs to me that I need to pick it up again and reread it. I am in need of that life at this moment!!)

The adversary is so strong around us. We are being tempted at every turn. Sometimes, having a reminder that we are heard and watched over is all the motivation we need to continue with our head held high and a smile on our face! Another good one is 5 Scriptures that will get you through Almost Anything by John Bytheway. Another one to motivate you into action!

My Assignments

I have decided to attend writing school. If you are interested, check here. I am a few days behind, so this might be a long post.

Day 1 - write a blog post about why I have a blog.

Why do I have a blog. Honestly, after 4 kids, it is very hard for me to remember names, dates and events in the correct order. That is the main purpose of my blog for me. Considering others, it is a nice way for friends/family to keep tabs on us on their time. It allows for me to write and update on my time. This is a win-win for both sides of the equation.

Day 2 - List 10 places you want to go

1. Scottland - I have heard that Scotland is beautiful and green. Combined with good food and the accent, how can you go wrong. I have heard they have great brews, although I will not be able to see if this is the case.
2. Hawaii - Need I say more? How can you go wrong with endless miles of beach and Luau's? I do want to be in my "skinny" state when I visit Hawaii though. I don't want to be scared of wearing my bathing suit for others to see.
3. Japan - my desire to visit Japan comes from my husbands love of the country and people. I am intrigued about their customs and traditions. I would like to sample "real" Japanese food.
   
4. Paris - how could you not want to visit the "City of Love?" One of our good friends recently moved to Paris, so it would be way fun to see him. I think the last time we saw him was at Brian's wedding. Steve, if you stay for a couple of years, you might have some visitors!
5. Chicago - I have always thought it would be awesome to go to Chicago. I would love to attend Oprah's "My favorite things" show. Hello!!!
6. Lake Powell - this is located in Utah. Although I was born and raised in Utah, I have never gone to Lake Powell. This also falls under the swim suit clause! I would enjoy days of laying in the sun. Swimming and water skiing.
7. Fairbanks, Alaska - I have always seen pictures of the Northern Lights but never knew what they were. Now that I live in Alaska, I desire to take the train to Fairbanks and see the dancing stars. Colors everywhere. I am hoping to do this when my parents are here around Christmas time. Plus, what a fun time to visit North Pole Alaska!
8. Jerusalem - I want to walk where my Savior walked. I want to have more of an understanding of the scriptures and his journey and his life before I make this trip. The more I study the life of my Savior, the closer I feel to him. \
9. Florida - more specific, Disney World and Sea World. This desire is specifically to go with my kids. I want them to be old enough to really enjoy the trip and be able to do it all without having to worry about naps and breakdowns. I am hoping when we leave Alaska, we can stop and Disney Land in California and do a test run with that. Maggie will be 4 or 5, so we will see.
10. Cruise - hopefully to the Carribian. This too falls under the swim suit clause (I am working on it - I promise! 10 pounds down). For this one - I want it to be just my husband and me. 5 or 7 days of just us. Having just us time. Being able to sleep through the night without little children waking us up for this or that. No breaking up fights, playing referee or punishing children. How nice would that be?

I am still behind 2 assignments, but I have 1 child in total breakdown, 1 child I need to wake up, 1 child that possibly needs to go to the ER and the last one needs some one on one attention. This has been a lot of fun! Watch for my blog post about a book I have read over and over and 25 of my unique abilities or list of 10 things I like about my body. Not sure which one I am going to choose!

Seriously people....

This is the last time. I am getting everything ready to mail out change of address forms. If you haven't sent me your current address in the last 2 months, you need to send me an e-mail with your address. If not, you will not be included in our Moving mailer or our Christmas card list. This will be the last chance.

two words...one sound

Kennie brought home one of his in class worksheets today. I laughed so hard I cried. It's called Pairs of Pears. It's the same word, spelled different with different meanings. So, you had to connect the two that were the same word. On the bottom, you were supposed to use of of the pairs and write 2 sentences. Each using one of the words. Kennie picked 2 new words. Here are his sentences! So funny!

1. I whine when I get hurt.
2. Laben drank wine.

I am sure his teacher was like, huh? Who's Laben?!? So funny!