This is for those of you with older kids (or remember your discipline from your childhood.) We need some help. The kids have started being dishonest and we don't know what to think or do. Here are yesterdays 2 events:
#1 - One child needs to have his homework signed off every day with the amount of time it took to complete listed. We have done this since the beginning of the school year. This child signed my initials and put the time that we usually put and then put it away in the backpack. (Ilene, are you dieing of laughter yet? Aaron did this for a bout 4 months in 3rd grade. Aaron had a really hard time keeping a straight face while telling him it's bad.)
#2 - Both boys aren't allowed anything but water and meals for the month of May (a previous punishment). One of them saw a Diet Coke that was left on the floor (it was 3/4 full). He picked up the Diet Coke and drank it then went to throw it away. Bad mistake! I was in the kitchen. He says, "Mom, this is empty, I am throwing it away." I asked if he drank it several times and he said no. The final time, I looked in the living room and saw that the other boys were upstairs and said, "I am going to ask one last time, did you drink it?" Then, he lowered his head and in just a whisper said yes. ARG!! He totally knew it was wrong, but did it anyway.
Any suggestions??
5 comments:
That's a hard one. I'm not sure what the right answer is - but I am pretty sure every kid goes through this and has to learn that lying doesn't work.
I know we had to deal with this with Kari and we did have a couple of family home evenings on the topic - kinda talking about how when you lie it grows because you have to remember what you've told people - lots easier to tell the truth.
One thing that happened was I caught her in a lie that I was able to scare her a bit. Kari drew a picture for her dad and put a poem on it - that was above her level and I was sure I had seen before. I asked her how she came up with it and she said it just came to her head. I asked her to explain it, and she couldn't, so I did an internet search and found it.
Then I called her in and told her about a poem I learned when I was a kid and we did a search on some of the words and found it. Then we searched for hers. She was so naive, she didn't even realize where it was going, until her poem popped up with a different author's name. We then discussed lying and plagiarism and I think it kind of scared her. That she could get in big trouble...
Of course, it was Kari's mom that was dealing with it most, and she could have grown out of it by the next time we had her, but who knows. She did seem to do better after that.
Of course, I haven't given you any good ideas. Good luck, I hope you are able to solve this one quickly!
Yikes! I would be concerned too. I like Lorraine's idea of having an FHE on the idea. I can't think of any scripture stories off the top of my head that have to do with lying... but discuss the idea of how it is important to tell the truth. I'm sure there is something on the internet- like on Sugardoodle.net- that would help present the idea in a fun way. That would be my best recommendation. Good luck with that-
Both my kids have started lying. I just have them sit on the naughty spot and think about it after I've explained why it's not a good idea (of course, they're a little younger, but well aware of what they're doing).
Probably just like anything else. Keep reminding, keep teaching. It'll sink in eventually.
It is a stage they all go through. I remember all of us going through it (I'm second of eleven children). So don't be too freaked out.
FHE is always good for lessons. Pray about it. Something will come, something will stick with them...whether it be a story, a personal experience, a scripture.
Good luck, I'm sure us parents with younger children will need advice when we run into such problems.
We're going through the same thing. And ours won't fess up to it until we explain that we KNOW he's not telling the truth. So frustrating. I don't know where they're getting it from. I think it's just part of growing up. For us, taking away the Wii has helped a TON and seems to do the trick when we need a punishment that will make an impact. Good luck though.
It's hard especially when you have a child who can cover their bases when you are actually trying to catch them in the lie. I think when they are this young you have to drill in the point that lying is simply unacceptable. They need to understand that that need to tell the truth because it is dangerous when they keep secrets from us. We emphasize that if they tell us what they did the punishment will be alot less than if they lied.
If all else fails I read a story about a Mom whose 12 year old son told her a lie and she made him stand on the street corner with a sign saying. "I told my Mom a lie ask me about it." He then had to explain what he had done to anyone who asked.
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