Today, November 21st, Justin {my brother} would have turned 33. He is 1 year and 3 days older than me. He spent his life in a wheel chair making other people smile. I aspire to be like him one day. I don't remember much of life before he died. I was 7 years old and have blocked out life before 10. I guess that is my way of coping, but I remember stories. His favorite color was yellow. He called me Gigi and whenever my mom entered the room, he would say "Hey kid!" Yosh {my little brother Josh} was only 5 when Justin passed away. But the person Justin loved the most is my Dad. The sun rose and set in my Dad. This had to be incredibly hard for my mom, but she was always a trooper!
Justin spent most of his life in a nursing home for children. His physical and mental handicap's never got him down. He was always happy and was the bright spot in every person's eye he came across. Today, I am thankful for my knowledge of the Plan of Salvation and the knowledge that I have that I will once again be able to see him. I find comfort in my belief that he watches over me. I am sure he comforted my kids as I was being the wild child I was and reassured them that I would make the right choice. I think he would be so proud of me today.
I learned to serve at a young age as we would go visit him in his nursing home. I would help feed or play with other children that lived in the nursing home. Some of the stores I have heard are actually quite impressive. I think that serving others is a way that today, I can feel close to him. Even though it has been 24 years since he passed away, I can still feel him. I can't explain it, but I can feel him. I know he watches out for me. {I can} but I can't wait for the day that I get to put my arms around him. I was so young and didn't know what was going on. I don't remember saying goodbye to him. Sometimes, it seems so hard. Especially on days like today!
My Uncle Bret is a musical person and wrote a song for my parents from my brother. Below are some of the words. I honestly can't remember all the words and I don't have a copy, but it is comforting to at least sing the portions of the song that I can remember. I will also put on the bottom of this post a picture of a picture. This is all I have of him. Other than the love for him in my heart!!
Dear Mom and Dad,
I'm writing you this letter to try and help you understand.
I just had a talk with Heavenly Father, He says we'll have to do the best we can.
'Cause Mom and Dad, I'm not going to be like other kids, I won't be able to run and jump and play.
My mind will be as clear as any ones, but when it speaks, my body won't obey.
Mom and Dad, don't be upset. Mom and Dad, try not to forget.
God is up here watching and helping from above, oh Mom and Dad, I give you all my love.
Happy Birthday buddy!! I love you!
